Wednesday, October 8, 2008

more rambling late night thoughts while eating cheez-its

for starters, i feel like my emotional well being has been upended in the last week. it's funny how something one person says out of real honest concern can rip another to shreads.

i had made peace with the fact that my kid is 2 years old and doesn't talk yet. i have worked through feeling like a complete and total shit of a mother for not "teaching" my child to talk. i have gotten over feeling like a complete jackass for wasting a ton of money and putting my son through a battery of unpleasant medical tests when i believed when somebody told me he was possibly autistic. i am now medicated after dealing with the dark depths of depression thta was only made worse when a developmental therapist told me that my baby's lack of speech was my fault.

and then comes the blind side. it hit me like a freight train when somebody i love dearly told me that she was still extremely worried about my son and that she seriously believes he is very delayed and needed more speech therapy.

the fact of the matter is that he does say a few words. he tries, dammit. he interacts now. he laughs, makes faces, uses gestures and follows directions. so the fuck what if he doesn't put 2 words together yet or use verbs? so what? we are doing our damn best as parents and anyone who has an issue with the way we are raising my darling boy can fucking suck it.

wow, that felt good.

don't you just hate when somebody takes a horrible tragedy in another's life and turns it into their very own drama parade. suddenly it's all about them... god, i hate that. and said person is apparently going to be under my nose for a couple of months now.

remember in the movie tombstone when Wyatt Earp first walks into The Oriental and the guy dealing cards is trash talking everyone? he says something to the effect of "christ almighty! it's like i'm sittin' here playin' cards with my brother's kids or sumthin'. you nerve wrackin' sons of bitches..." that really describes most interaction with miss-it's-all-about-me-drama-llama.

what goes through the minds of some folks? do people seriously use actual chicken bones as part of halloween costumes? i am looking for a plastic bone to be used as part of a BamBam Rubble costume. it was suggested to me that i use a chicken bone. yes, i know all the meat and grease could be scraped off but seriously? fuck no. i don't want every dog, cat, and raccoon within a mile radius of where my spawn is trick-or-treating to track him down and pounce on him. he IS a very large two year old, but i doubt very much that he could single handedly take on a pack of animals. i say single handed because i can guarandamntee you that is a bunch of crazed hungry animals start coming after him, my ass is gonna be hightailing it in another direction.

and really. let's remember folks that i am a city slicker. i haven't ever had a need to clean a chicken carcus. i buy boneless chicken parts to cook simply because i am a wee bit grossed out at biting chicken or any meat off the bone. i don't like doing it. i will do it if say it's a meal of chicken fried by my inlaws because that is a special kind of heavenly deliciousness, but otherwise, NO. and hell to the no way am i putting an old for real chicken bone on my kid. jeezus.

i wanted a tarp. FEMA Nancy didn't give me one. damn her. who really cares if we didn't have a need for a tarp? she should have brought me one anyhow.


KimmyDarling said...

My BFF's little girl was 3 1/2 before she said a word. My friend went through feelings and experiences very similar to what you described. One day, straight out of the blue, words just started tumbling out of her little girl's mouth. Everything was fine from then on out. :)

Cassie said...

My grandson hardly talked until he was about 4. Your son will be fine.