Thursday, April 30, 2009


- i want another tattoo. i want a line from the john keats poem Ode on Melancholy. it will say 'glut thy sorrows on a morning rose' and maybe have a small little flower. i would like it to be on the inside of one of my wrists. i'm just not sure i'm ready to get inked in such a conspicuous spot yet.

- my kid won't stop throwing things. i am at my wit's end and have turned to alcohol. two days in a row now. before lunchtime. i've tried slapping his hand as soon as he has thrown something. i've tried giving him a spank on the behind. i've tried time outs. i've tried lectures. i've tried ignoring it thinking that if the behavior didn't get attention it would stop. but, the little booger continues to throw things. it doesn't matter what, if he has it in his hand and he gets the urge, it becomes a projectile. short of handcuffing him or boxing gloves so that he can't pick anything up, how do i stop it? my liver thanks anyone for any suggestions.

- i am pissed at my Wii fit. don't get me wrong, i love it. i really enjoy it. what i don't love is that i have been on that thing for at least 45 minutes every day (doing aerobic exercise that causes me to sweat and short of breath) for almost a month now and i have not lost any weight. my ass is still the size of a tug boat.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

again with the lapse...

yeah, yeah. so it's been a while again. i had the plague or the monkey flu or the swine pox or something. the doctor said it was just bronchitis but i seriously think it was more than that. you know how those doctor types are. all that schooling and volumes upon volumes of knowledge, and they try to appease me by telling me i simply have something boring like bronchitis. whatever. anyhow, both the boy and i recovered and his antibiotics are almost finished. FINALLY.

i've been feeling really domestic again lately. i've been just itching to bake and sew and do homemaking things like that. however, my fat ass doesn't need any more sweets, nevermind that i baked a pan of from scratch brownies last night at 9:30 and we no longer have anyplace to buy fabric here in the hicksticks. so, my mind is left to wander and imagine all the things i'd love to make.

i want a pancake puffer pan. no. scratch that. i DESPERATELY want a pancake puffer pan. you know the one i'm talking about. it's on infomercials and in the "as seen on tv" sections in stores and on the net. my seven year old neice also deserately wants me to have one. do you know what kind of beautiful awesome delectable yummies i could create with it? ok, you're right. with my track record i peobably couldn't do anything spectacular with it. but i wanna try. i want to make pancakes filled with pudding or frosting. i want to make brownie puffs and blueberry muffin puffs. oh, the possibilities are numerous and maybe endless.

now, things are about to get really ugly because i am going to grovel and beg so if you don't like that sort of thing, click away now.

what stands in my way? i won't go and buy my own pancake puffer pan. and, so far nobody has bought one for me. what gives? do you love me? well, do you even like me a little bit? won't you please buy me a pancake puffer pan? i promise i will share my bounty of goods created as a result of my owning the thing with you. please?

look, here it is--->