Alas!

here it is 4 months later and i have not even revisited my own blog. i have such lofty expectations of myself and have become quite slothful.

so much has happened in my world since i intended to start back into this blogging thing. for starters, i was hospitalized for depression at the beginning of April. the depression and resulting stay at the funny farm were both the worst and best things that could have happened to me.

isn't horrible how hindsight is always perfect? looking back i can see that i had been struggling with depression for a very long time. it just hadn't ever completely taken over my life the way it slowly but surely did this past spring. i never realized how terribly i felt because it had been slow and so long since i had really felt good and like myself. anyhow, now with the help of modern chemisrty i am right as the rain on most days.

part of my problem is that i have super high expectations of myself. and pretty much the whole world. for whatever reason there is a really high standard i have set in my head and not being able to consistantly reach that nearly impossible bar sent my neurotically high strung perfectionista little self right over the edge. it's nice now being a little lazy, slower, accepting that nothing and nobody is perfect and doesn't need to be. life is much more enjoyable that way.