Thursday, August 12, 2010

wow, what a year

it's been a year. a whole year since i posted anything here.

why am i back? i got the tiniest bit of inspiration from an old friend who just found me on facebook. it was mentioned that said person had read some of this blog and voila! here i am, back again.

i read back over most of my thoughts here over and i was a bit disappointed in myself for not finding the time to keep this up. it's not that i didn't have stuff to say. i guess many times i felt too tired. too busy. too overwhelmed with my thoughts to even put them into words.

so what now? i feel like i'm at a crossroads again. i still love the daycare job. no. scratch that. i love my kids. MY class. i adore all the kids but i was not engineered to be in charge of 15-18 three year olds. there is no structure and the children that are wont to misbehave know that regardless of what they do, there is no real consequence due to our management. sad, huh? the owner and director of the daycare are not supportive and there are many things that happen there that i disagree with including a heap more work added to my day with no increase to my minimum wage paycheck. OUCH!

a few weeks ago i applied for a couple of positions with our local school district. i interviewed last week for one that i thought went incredibly well. i was called two days later and told that i was an extremely close second and the candidate they hired was chosen because he or she had experience at the position that i lacked. this hit me hard. very hard. for several days all i could think about was a stupid "no fear" tee shirt that i used to see dumbass jocks wearing: second place is first loser. i felt like second place was the worst place to be. i had set my hopes so high that accepting the bad news was sickening.

earlier this week i received a call reagrding the other position i applied for. i interview in the morning. i am excited and nervous but i am going in with the idea that this may again turn out like last. i know i have a lot to offer, but somebody else may have more. and i will make the best of things, whatever will be will be. plus, before the acceptance of a new job i need to know that pay will be enough better that we can make it with me only working 9 months of the year.

in other news, all my exercising and working to get healthier and thinner have finally paid off in the last year. since the beginning of 2010 i have lost about 20 pounds. the last 5 or so pounds that i'd like to lose don't seem to want to budge, but that's no surprise. i am back to the clothes size i was before i got pregnant. YAY! and i have muscle tone, again. however there is still a lot of jiggle in my wiggle. if i were to get the job i interview for tomorrow, i'd have more time to do what i really love in terms of physical activity: run. i could actually really run. outside. no more Wii Fit running everyday in my living room. i crave that.

my beautiful boy is getting smarter and is sailing right along in his language and speech and grasp of the world in general. he was tested this spring to see if he qualified for any of the pre-k special services offered in our school system and he tested too high. barely, but still. wow. win! he turns four this fall.

enough for now. i have to pick out what i am wearing to interview in the morning and get myself to bed. it's was a long and busy day. so if there is anyone out there still checking in here and reading, please wish me luck in the morning. please and thank-you!

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