trying to find a place of peace

i didn't get either one of the jobs i interviewed for. one of the crapfalls of living out in a small rural community is that work opportunities are hard to find.

i had a long stressful day at work. without thinking, i sat and talked, with my guard down, to a co-worker that is known for being a snitch. i can't help but wonder what price i will pay for that. my crew was also bouncing off the walls today. i suppose it was due to all the nervous energy about school starting monday. i didn't leave until after 7 PM and i still wasn't done cleaning the room up.

my sasquatch got hit in the eye with one of those little rubber high-bouncey balls. he may wake up in the morning with a bit of a black eye. he also fell off a "porch" or small landing in front of my classroom at the daycare. he re-opened and added to a bad scrape/bruise injury he got two nights ago on the patio at Mimi's house.

thanks to the "big blue screw" this is the second night in a row that my darling husband is stuck in Angleton and not here.

my body aches. my head is throbbing and my sinuses are screaming. i have a to-do list a mile long for this weekend. i need a break.

and i need to make peace with all of that. it's a struggle and right this minute i am not sure if i am winning or losing. but fuck it. i'm tired. no, i am draggin-ass-exhauted. one more drink, one more smoke, and bed for me. sleep will most definitely make everything easier to handle in the morning.