slow sunday and a handful of thoughts

- i got a new tattoo on friday night. it is an excerpt from a love poem by ee cummings. although it's a love poem in terms of romantic love, i saw that most of it really hit home with me about how much i love my kid, and how he is so much a part of me. so now, near the top of my back is the following verse:

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

check out the whole poem sometime. it's really nice. i've been told that it is read at the end of the movie "in her shoes". however Cameron Diaz is in that movie and i can NOT stand her so i will not be seeing it. ever.

- my newest addiction is chocolate teddy grahams. great. i bought them for my son because he likes them better than real cookies. too bad i have now eaten almost the entire box. nasty little devil bears. sorry cheez-its, chocolate teddy grahams have bumped you down my list of preferred snack foods.

- i am really proud of myself for exercising. really. i know that's lame and shit, but i am patting myself on the back. almost every day for the last couple of weeks i have either gone to the park to walk with the child in the stroller or else gotten up super early and gone to the gym to run on the treadmill before my dearest husband gets up. now, if i could just put down the teddy grahams, i might see some results.

- beer is good. yeah, duh. it's so nice to get to go out every once in a while and just have a couple of cheap beers at the local dive. of course out her ein east jesus, texas all there are are dive bars. but heay, the ambience is great and you are never underdressed. by the way, i love beer. it's good.

- the september weekend getawy is getting closer and closer and dammit i am so tickled. i am so excited i can hardly stand myself. miss type A plan ahead and organize the hell out of everything here already knows exactly what clothes i will be packing. i am sick, i tell ya. austin, here i come. getting to see everyone is going to make my whole year.

- i am thinking about making my kid be Bam Bam (of flintstones fame) for halloween. we could just let his hair get a bit shaggy before then and i could whip him up an animal print loin cloth. he already loves carrying around his big yellow baseball bat and whacking things with it (poor Wyatt takes lots of abuse).

the fine art of keeping one's mouth shut

don't you just hate when something is sort of your business but really, to say anything aloud about it would be none of your business? an issue impacts you and everyone around you but it would be entirely out of line to speak up? being a person who dislikes making waves or calling any unnecessary attention to myself keeps the duct tape tightly sealed over my mouth.

i also know that even if a polite attempt was made at addressing the issue, it certainly wouldn't help. some people are just so defensive and unopen to constructive criticism that the situation would most certainly errupt into something rivaling mount vesuvius.

instead, a handful of people sit idly by, not saying a word and stewing. simmering, bubbling. we are all suffering at the selfishness of one person. we are not a calm and patient people. i hate this issue and i hate that it will get ugly sooner or later. i don't see any epiphanies happening in the near future that would change that.

this sucks. hmmmph.

McMom checking in

so after my last entry about needing to slim down and start making some healthier choices for myself, McMommy decided that a jaunt through the mcdonald's drive through was a great idea for lunch.

toddler was all over his cheeseburger. this is fabulous for me. he is not a meat eater. he eats hot dogs and those vile disgusting horrid things called vienna sausages. i can't ever get him to eat home cooked (or restaurant cooked) chicken, beef, pork, fish, anything. a couple of weeks ago my sister in law picked him up a happy meal and he did eat it pretty well which was what inspired today's attempt. he was so cute holding his sandwich like a big boy rather than having it broken up into smaller pieces. he also generously fed his last little bit of lunch to the dog when he was finished with it.

tonight we are eating vegetables and tomorrow, hopefully, it's back to either the gym or the walking trails to burn off my McFatAss.

peer pressure or vanity or fatty needs to slim down

i am going on a smallish vacation in september. okay, so it's a road trip to austin to spend the weekend with some girlfriends. however, cnhubby mc jiggly gut here needs to get on the ball to get into some better shape. my trip is my inspiration.

after not exercising at all during the month of June - due to extreme illness and out of twon guests, i am at square one again. when my husband has days off, i manage to get to the fitness center and get on a treadmill... most of the time. it's hard making myself go when i know i can't run like i used to. however, the last two days i have loaded toddler child into the car and taken him to our local city park.

he gets a nice shady ride in a big cooshy stroller while i swelter and sweat and burn about a jillion calories for at least 45 minutes while pushing him all around the walking trails through the park. yay me.

when i was so ill during June, i managed to lose seven pounds in one week. it's easy to do when everything down to the tiniest sip of water is puked up within minutes, and then you continue to puke even though nothing has been ingested into your body for 2 days...

here's hoping that by mid september i can lose at least 5 pounds. here's also hoping that i will keep myself going. toddler loves the park, so there is some benefit for him too. happy toddler equals happy mama.

when i met myhusband i wavered between 105 and 110 pounds. i wore a size 2 jeans. i fantacize about being that tiny and healthy again. i say healthy because back then i used to run at least a couple of miles every damn day. now i have the stretchmarked, foppy nasty post baby pouch on my stomach and i can't get rid of it. blah.

so to steal a sentiment from my friend Angie who recently had a weight loss blog entry, i need to make this my mantra now: run fat ass, run!

things are pretty damn good today

just some random musings here...

- it's amazing how an adrenaline rush can give you some freakish super human strength. when somebody is so incredibly out of shape as i am can out of nowhere do what i did last night, it's something. let's just say that everything turned out ok, but fear and motherly instinct can make a body capable of astonishing feats.

- my boys are both sleeping. my adorable husband has passed out on the couch and my precious toddler is sound asleep in his crib. it's so nice to have my husband home for a few hours duing daylight hours. even if he is passed out in a solid man nap.

- the kid is just getting smarter and smarter by the day. he makes me smile so much i feel like a damn goon. almost a year ago i was told he was very likely autistic and while i believed it, i was determined to not let it kidnap my baby into a silent world of no interaction with other people. now, he's charming. a flirt really. he knows how to get what he wants and he knows what buttons to push to get to momma or daddy's pushover side. he follows directions, he knows a few sign language signs, and he really does try to say words. and he makes his stuffed snoopy give his momma kisses, which is really the very best thing ever.

- two of my favorite people are still happy dating each other. yippee! in regards to their privacy, i am not saying anything else about them here. just that i am still happy for them, even though it seems really really weird to look at them as a couple instead of who they were as individuals in my life first.

- just over a month away is a BIG ASS girls' weekend. many friends from hither and yon are coming in to this gathering. i will be carpooling with a very very wise and funny woman. the car ride to the gathering and back should by itself make the whole weekend worthwhile. i am stoked and already planning what i am going to wear.

fuck off edouard

i am a desert rat through and through. the deepest darkest blackest depths of my corrupt soul are of the desert. i know and understand drought, blistering heat with no humidity, the monsoons at the end of summer...

now, in the south, i must contend with the threat of hurricanes along with other strange things like torrential rains that last for days, tornadoes, and humid air so thick it's practically suffocating.

within the last day or so tropical storm edouard has formed in the gulf of mexico and has a forecasted path that takes it pretty much right over my area. i am scared shitless. or rather, i am scared sick. my stomach has been in knots all day. i have that ulcer-y feeling eating away at my gut. i hate anything that can be classified as weather. hate it. HATE.

living in a trailer (mobile home) doesn't allow a worry wart desert rat like me any piece of mind. i fear the winds that might blow so hard they would damage our house. i fear winds that will cause one of the many large trees around our house to break and land on our roof. i fear being without electricity for days on end.

the anticipation is the worst. i wish it would just come on already. or else fall apart. all i really want to say is "fuck off, edouard."