dread. me. full up.

tomorrow is the last day of summer. my scheduled got fucked over a few weeks back but at least i did have several hours with my crew everyday before we were filled to capacity with three and four year olds. i loved those several hours.

monday they go back to school and that means that until about 3:20, my days will be spent being bounced from one classroom full of very young children to another. i hate that. it's almost easier however going from one class to the next than staying with one group because that way i get to escape and start over every hour. however, that also means i am usually with each group as they finish their lunch and have to go get settled into naptime.

have you ever tried to get 11 toddlers to lay down on kinder-mats and go to sleep simultaneously? not a picnic. not even close. however, i do have to admit that the feeling of accomplishment once they are all out cold is one of exponential awesomeness. never ever does sitting down and a big fat, yet quiet, sigh feel so damn good.

this year, as most of our kids will be coming back for after-school care, my crew will be close to 20 with JUST kids that are in kindergarten and older. wow. that does mean that very few if any younger children will be tossed into the mix which is a big relief.

mostly i am just really hating my boss. and the director. i am sick to death of passive-aggression and way they glare and constantly look for a few of us to mess up while others are allowed to break as many rules as they want right under their noses. it's frustrating and degrading. i am sick of treated like a lower class employee because my kids are "just the after-schoolers". as if they aren't worthy of the time and consideration that they want to give the younger ones. uggh.

the job i interviewed for last friday has not been filled yet. i called this morning to ask and was told they are still interviewing. so, at least i am not completely out of the running, however i think that if i had made a great impression they would have decided to hire me by now. after all, school starts monday.

limbo. i'm in it. my mind keeps comparing this current job to Dante's Inferno. haha. that by itself amuses me. i was just thinking i could use a Beatrice to help give me direction. and you know what? my beloved gramma's name was Beatrice. she passed away when i was 18. in all those years, i never saw her make a hasty judgment. she was always calm and so pleasant. i sure could use some of that right now.

or a winning lottery ticket. because nothing would make me happier right now than to call up my boss and tell her to take this job and shove it. i ain't workin' here no more.

more flowers because they make me smile

flora in the trainerhood

my first iris to open up in the flower bed this past spring.

don't know what these are, but this is my husband's grandmother's birth bath.

i believe these are some kind of rose. i just liked the contrast of the stark white flowers against the dark mulchy background.

ahhhh, the dollar tree. a dangerous place

this summer at daycare land, with my "after-schollers", i started a new behavior and rewards system. there is a big chart and everyone's name has a row. each row has ten stickers in the behavior column and then an extra section for "bonus" stickers on the lagniappe side. lagniappe stickers are given when i notice somebody doing a good deed. or somebody who is remembering manners and just doing a good job at not being a howler monkey on crack. some kids rack up tons of these stickers and some can hardly earn any. so goes it.

as for the beahvior side, each child starts each week with a full row of ten stickers. every time a kid gets a time out, they lose one. if they have all ten stickers at the end of the week, they get to pick a prize from the treasure chest. if they have at least eight stickers left by the end of the week, they can go on our thursday or friday field trip.

it has worked well. and now i am down to the last week of their summer vacations. friday they are going to a putt-putt and money-suck park for pizza, golf and video games. if you know me from back home, the place looks like it will be similar to Golf 'n' Stuff. so, wednesday or thursday we are going to have Bonus Bucks Mart.

all through the summer i've picked up a lot of little stuff for prizes at dollar stores, the buck spot at target, and i've made a few things as well. however many lagniappe stickers each kid has, that is how many bonus bucks they will get to spend at our Mart. i will decide how many bucks each item is worth and they can shop their hearts out.

i went for one last foray into the Dollar Tree this morning for bonus buck items. i only spent about twenty dollars but i could have spent several times that. i bought coloring posters, mini-purses, hot wheels, puzzles, watches, 3D wooden dinosaur skeleton things (no idea what to call them but they look pretty cool), dry erase marker boards, spongebob and batman notebooks and pens, a couple random shark toys, and two checkers games.

i do so love dollar tree. so many other dollar stores are purely crap. or they are disgusting and not someplace you would even want to set foot in, let alone buy anything. dollar tree never fails to deliver. as somebody who loves a bargain and somebody who loves to shop, there is nothing quite like getting a whole buggy of junk you didn't know you even needed or wanted for pocket change.

wow, what a year

it's been a year. a whole year since i posted anything here.

why am i back? i got the tiniest bit of inspiration from an old friend who just found me on facebook. it was mentioned that said person had read some of this blog and voila! here i am, back again.

i read back over most of my thoughts here over and i was a bit disappointed in myself for not finding the time to keep this up. it's not that i didn't have stuff to say. i guess many times i felt too tired. too busy. too overwhelmed with my thoughts to even put them into words.

so what now? i feel like i'm at a crossroads again. i still love the daycare job. no. scratch that. i love my kids. MY class. i adore all the kids but i was not engineered to be in charge of 15-18 three year olds. there is no structure and the children that are wont to misbehave know that regardless of what they do, there is no real consequence due to our management. sad, huh? the owner and director of the daycare are not supportive and there are many things that happen there that i disagree with including a heap more work added to my day with no increase to my minimum wage paycheck. OUCH!

a few weeks ago i applied for a couple of positions with our local school district. i interviewed last week for one that i thought went incredibly well. i was called two days later and told that i was an extremely close second and the candidate they hired was chosen because he or she had experience at the position that i lacked. this hit me hard. very hard. for several days all i could think about was a stupid "no fear" tee shirt that i used to see dumbass jocks wearing: second place is first loser. i felt like second place was the worst place to be. i had set my hopes so high that accepting the bad news was sickening.

earlier this week i received a call reagrding the other position i applied for. i interview in the morning. i am excited and nervous but i am going in with the idea that this may again turn out like last. i know i have a lot to offer, but somebody else may have more. and i will make the best of things, whatever will be will be. plus, before the acceptance of a new job i need to know that pay will be enough better that we can make it with me only working 9 months of the year.


in other news, all my exercising and working to get healthier and thinner have finally paid off in the last year. since the beginning of 2010 i have lost about 20 pounds. the last 5 or so pounds that i'd like to lose don't seem to want to budge, but that's no surprise. i am back to the clothes size i was before i got pregnant. YAY! and i have muscle tone, again. however there is still a lot of jiggle in my wiggle. if i were to get the job i interview for tomorrow, i'd have more time to do what i really love in terms of physical activity: run. i could actually really run. outside. no more Wii Fit running everyday in my living room. i crave that.

my beautiful boy is getting smarter and is sailing right along in his language and speech and grasp of the world in general. he was tested this spring to see if he qualified for any of the pre-k special services offered in our school system and he tested too high. barely, but still. wow. win! he turns four this fall.

enough for now. i have to pick out what i am wearing to interview in the morning and get myself to bed. it's was a long and busy day. so if there is anyone out there still checking in here and reading, please wish me luck in the morning. please and thank-you!

so two months later

two months i have been working at a daycare. i've had pink eye and a stomach virus that caused me to vomit so hard, fast, and furiously for an entire day that i injured my back. i've laughed til i've cried, dried many more tears from small people, and solidified my belief in the notion that each day is what you choose for it to be. you have to want to be happy to be happy. now if i could just get a few of my charges to realize that.

i bought a new car, finally. went back to hyundai since the last one lasted through so much wear and tear. and they are affordable. i hate that i couldn't afford an american car with the state of our auto industry, but so it goes. i am loving my car and the new car smell.

my darling boy has come leaps and bounds ahead of where he was socially and with his speech/communication before he started attending day care. he uses rough sentences now. he says stuff for no reason. he is more creative and outgoing. he loves his teacher and i think she is an awesome person. watching her with the kids makes me so comfortable that my boy if my boy isn't spending his days with me, it's with her.

things are still up in the air with my husband's job. i am sick and tired of the stress and worry related to it. either his whole district office wills hut down or it won't. things may start getting better soon, or they could fall apart tragically without a second's notice. either way, there is nothing we can do but hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. it sucks but we will get through somehow.

the new job

last wednesday, a day care where i had applied for a job called me and scheduled an interview. last thursday i went in to interview and last friday i was hired. the following monday i went to work.

i had forgotten what working with a large bunch of kids was realy like. it's been ten years. this week has provided many laughs and "oh my god, what the fuck have i gotten myself into?" moments. it's exhausting but tons of fun.

and the boy has survived his week there as well. barely.