flora in the trainerhood

my first iris to open up in the flower bed this past spring.

don't know what these are, but this is my husband's grandmother's birth bath.

i believe these are some kind of rose. i just liked the contrast of the stark white flowers against the dark mulchy background.

ahhhh, the dollar tree. a dangerous place

this summer at daycare land, with my "after-schollers", i started a new behavior and rewards system. there is a big chart and everyone's name has a row. each row has ten stickers in the behavior column and then an extra section for "bonus" stickers on the lagniappe side. lagniappe stickers are given when i notice somebody doing a good deed. or somebody who is remembering manners and just doing a good job at not being a howler monkey on crack. some kids rack up tons of these stickers and some can hardly earn any. so goes it.

as for the beahvior side, each child starts each week with a full row of ten stickers. every time a kid gets a time out, they lose one. if they have all ten stickers at the end of the week, they get to pick a prize from the treasure chest. if they have at least eight stickers left by the end of the week, they can go on our thursday or friday field trip.

it has worked well. and now i am down to the last week of their summer vacations. friday they are going to a putt-putt and money-suck park for pizza, golf and video games. if you know me from back home, the place looks like it will be similar to Golf 'n' Stuff. so, wednesday or thursday we are going to have Bonus Bucks Mart.

all through the summer i've picked up a lot of little stuff for prizes at dollar stores, the buck spot at target, and i've made a few things as well. however many lagniappe stickers each kid has, that is how many bonus bucks they will get to spend at our Mart. i will decide how many bucks each item is worth and they can shop their hearts out.

i went for one last foray into the Dollar Tree this morning for bonus buck items. i only spent about twenty dollars but i could have spent several times that. i bought coloring posters, mini-purses, hot wheels, puzzles, watches, 3D wooden dinosaur skeleton things (no idea what to call them but they look pretty cool), dry erase marker boards, spongebob and batman notebooks and pens, a couple random shark toys, and two checkers games.

i do so love dollar tree. so many other dollar stores are purely crap. or they are disgusting and not someplace you would even want to set foot in, let alone buy anything. dollar tree never fails to deliver. as somebody who loves a bargain and somebody who loves to shop, there is nothing quite like getting a whole buggy of junk you didn't know you even needed or wanted for pocket change.

wow, what a year

it's been a year. a whole year since i posted anything here.

why am i back? i got the tiniest bit of inspiration from an old friend who just found me on facebook. it was mentioned that said person had read some of this blog and voila! here i am, back again.

i read back over most of my thoughts here over and i was a bit disappointed in myself for not finding the time to keep this up. it's not that i didn't have stuff to say. i guess many times i felt too tired. too busy. too overwhelmed with my thoughts to even put them into words.

so what now? i feel like i'm at a crossroads again. i still love the daycare job. no. scratch that. i love my kids. MY class. i adore all the kids but i was not engineered to be in charge of 15-18 three year olds. there is no structure and the children that are wont to misbehave know that regardless of what they do, there is no real consequence due to our management. sad, huh? the owner and director of the daycare are not supportive and there are many things that happen there that i disagree with including a heap more work added to my day with no increase to my minimum wage paycheck. OUCH!

a few weeks ago i applied for a couple of positions with our local school district. i interviewed last week for one that i thought went incredibly well. i was called two days later and told that i was an extremely close second and the candidate they hired was chosen because he or she had experience at the position that i lacked. this hit me hard. very hard. for several days all i could think about was a stupid "no fear" tee shirt that i used to see dumbass jocks wearing: second place is first loser. i felt like second place was the worst place to be. i had set my hopes so high that accepting the bad news was sickening.

earlier this week i received a call reagrding the other position i applied for. i interview in the morning. i am excited and nervous but i am going in with the idea that this may again turn out like last. i know i have a lot to offer, but somebody else may have more. and i will make the best of things, whatever will be will be. plus, before the acceptance of a new job i need to know that pay will be enough better that we can make it with me only working 9 months of the year.


in other news, all my exercising and working to get healthier and thinner have finally paid off in the last year. since the beginning of 2010 i have lost about 20 pounds. the last 5 or so pounds that i'd like to lose don't seem to want to budge, but that's no surprise. i am back to the clothes size i was before i got pregnant. YAY! and i have muscle tone, again. however there is still a lot of jiggle in my wiggle. if i were to get the job i interview for tomorrow, i'd have more time to do what i really love in terms of physical activity: run. i could actually really run. outside. no more Wii Fit running everyday in my living room. i crave that.

my beautiful boy is getting smarter and is sailing right along in his language and speech and grasp of the world in general. he was tested this spring to see if he qualified for any of the pre-k special services offered in our school system and he tested too high. barely, but still. wow. win! he turns four this fall.

enough for now. i have to pick out what i am wearing to interview in the morning and get myself to bed. it's was a long and busy day. so if there is anyone out there still checking in here and reading, please wish me luck in the morning. please and thank-you!

so two months later

two months i have been working at a daycare. i've had pink eye and a stomach virus that caused me to vomit so hard, fast, and furiously for an entire day that i injured my back. i've laughed til i've cried, dried many more tears from small people, and solidified my belief in the notion that each day is what you choose for it to be. you have to want to be happy to be happy. now if i could just get a few of my charges to realize that.

i bought a new car, finally. went back to hyundai since the last one lasted through so much wear and tear. and they are affordable. i hate that i couldn't afford an american car with the state of our auto industry, but so it goes. i am loving my car and the new car smell.

my darling boy has come leaps and bounds ahead of where he was socially and with his speech/communication before he started attending day care. he uses rough sentences now. he says stuff for no reason. he is more creative and outgoing. he loves his teacher and i think she is an awesome person. watching her with the kids makes me so comfortable that my boy if my boy isn't spending his days with me, it's with her.

things are still up in the air with my husband's job. i am sick and tired of the stress and worry related to it. either his whole district office wills hut down or it won't. things may start getting better soon, or they could fall apart tragically without a second's notice. either way, there is nothing we can do but hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. it sucks but we will get through somehow.

the new job

last wednesday, a day care where i had applied for a job called me and scheduled an interview. last thursday i went in to interview and last friday i was hired. the following monday i went to work.

i had forgotten what working with a large bunch of kids was realy like. it's been ten years. this week has provided many laughs and "oh my god, what the fuck have i gotten myself into?" moments. it's exhausting but tons of fun.

and the boy has survived his week there as well. barely.

so i was reading another blog somewhere...

what annoys me right now is that i can't remember what blog it was or even how long ago it was.

anyhow the blogger posted an entry about first kisses and for some reason i was cruising down the road today between civilization and the hick sticks, it popped into my head. and i started thinking about all of the first kisses i've had.

there are experiences that were sweet and tender and others that just make me want to deny they ever happened because they were so terrible. some had the potential to be seriously hot and they fizzled and others were exactly the opposite.

the worst first kiss with a guy was with one i will call the rat bastard or RB for short. looking back, this kiss should have been the red flag to stop me from ever getting involved with him in the first place but hindsight is always 20/20, huh? i ended up dating the RB for over 4 years. what made it so bad?

we had been on a couple of dates and we were out driving around my hometown looking for something to do or someplace to hang out. i suggested we go and climb the fence and wander around the golf course. it was a nice night and there wouldn't be anyone else around like if we were to just go and sit in a park or something. so we trespass our preppy little butts over the fence and we found a bench on the golf course and we sat and talked. then, out of the blue this dumbass fucking moron gets this completely smug shit-eating grin on his face and says "i guess this is the total mack stage now, huh?" and proceeds to attempt to devour my face. what a tool. it gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. i attribute my sticking around to being extremely young and lacking in any sort of self confidence. it was nice being the object of his affection at the time.

some of the finest first kisses ever were when they took me totally by surprise. i wasn't expecting them and they just happened, perfectly. and the very best first kiss ever... i thought it was coming on a wednesday night and it did not. and i felt like a gigantic ass for reading the wrong thing into his behavior. there was another date on friday night and i was very nonchalant about it. i had given up on it and figured this guy and i might just be friends. and he brought me home after that date and i reached up to hug him. he leaned in to kiss me goodnight and 45 minutes later were still standing in my doorway smooching. this one turned out wonderfully, by the way... i just kissed him goodnight a couple of hours ago.

the funniest first kiss memory i have is one that still get teased about and it was in 1996. a friend and i were in mexico having a girls' weekend and we met up with some guys that happened to be from our hometown and so we talked for a while and some alcohol was involved. somehow we paired off and it was decided that we were all headed for the beach. being young and slightly tipsy, i insisted on briging a bigass flashlight because it was dark out. i don't know what i thought a walk on the beach involved at that time but let me just say that a flashlight was not really necessary.

do you specifically remember any of your first kisses? anything noteworthy? and does anyone happen to know what blog gave me this idea?

fuck it. let's go to the pocket

after a long stressful week, you can bet that somebody in this house will be uttering the above sentiment.

i live in a semi-dry county. you can buy beer and wine at the grocery store but no hard liquor. we have a Chili's here and to buy beer or any hard hooch you have to purchase what is called a UNICARD for three bucks. you can drink yourself to death if you give them your three dollars first and sign your name on the paper card.

the last time i was at Chili's drinking, i came home and woke up the next morning to find three forks in my purse. i also remembered our table trying to chit chat with the waitress and we mentioned that she might have 'slipped my brother a mickey' in his beer and she had no early idea what that meant. sigh... i vowed then and there to never drink there again. how on earth did three forks get into my purse?

we also have The Empty Pocket. it's lovingly called the pocket. the pocket is considered a private club because you buy a membership. for eleven smackaroonies a year you become a member. the pocket is one of those little crap-ass ugly as all hell from the outside (and the inside) falling apart buildings. however, it's the type of place where all sorts can come in and drink and get along for the most part. Toby Keith sings about a bar where rednecks, bikers, yuppies, and everything in between come in and fit in. that's our pocket.

there are no two tables or chairs the same in the pocket. a handful of the tables have rolling desk chairs. why are there rolling chairs in a bar with uneven floors and drunks? the last time i was in the pocket i was rolled from one end of the bar to the other by a guy i had only met once before who thought that was the way to get me to get up and dance with him. i'm a sucker, it worked. of course he did roll me right up to the dance floor and after a few drinks i forgot that i totally suck at anything involving music or rhythm.

the first few times i was in the pocket i felt out of place and like it was a place to pity. however, as time has gone on it's grown on me. it's comfortable and fun. it's cheap beer and waitresses that smile and call everyone darlin' and sweetie but still don't take any shit from anyone.

Chili's bar? not so much. who cares if they have food there and the pocket doesn't? at least random pieces of silverware don't mysteriously find their way into my purse at the pocket.